Book Review: It Destroys Me

Title: It Destroys Me
Author: Penelope Sky
Genre: Romance, Fiction, Crime

What it’s About: Astrid lives with Theo as they figure out how to get a hold of Bolton. Scarlett and Axel come to get Astrid for a dinner reservation, and they all get Theo to agree to go with them. Throughout the dinner, Axel and Theo talk shit, but then Theo and Astrid stare at each other intensely. They have sex.

They continue to sleep with each other, while Theo brings her lunch at her gallery job, where they sit together. In one instance they end up having sex in the gallery as well, though they do talk and Theo reiterates with her that he’s not sure if he’s willing to give her more. Astrid does get mad at him one day when his mood is off, and he tells her to go away, but they make up the next day and she asks him why is he sabotaging what is between them before he is even giving them a chance. He realizes that she’s correct, and does not do it. Scarlett takes Astrid out for shopping and they chat a bit about the men and Theo—Scarlett tells her that she should wear her feelings on her sleeve because she thinks that’s what Theo will need.

Theo also speaks with Axel about his relationship issues, and his struggle with not having his brother’s body to bury him. At one point he meets with Bolton alone—without Astrid’s knowledge—and Bolton offers to give him Killian’s body in exchange for giving Astrid back to Bolton, which Theo declines and Bolton tells him that he will throw him in the incinerator so that Theo will never have Killian’s body to bury. Theo does capture some of Bolton’s men in the brotherhood, and kills two of them after torturing them for information. The third one, however, tells him that Bolton is with Carson—his girlfriend, who is located in Rome.

Bolton calls Astrid from an unknown number, and she picks up thinking that it may be her gallery client, which is not unusual as she deals with the wealthy. He tells her that he thought she’d have time to cool off and would come back to him, at which point she tells him that she hasn’t. She takes a moment to text Theo for help, and then goes back to talking on the phone, where Bolton says that he will kill Theo. She tells him that he will have to kill her then as well because she is in love with Theo—it’s the first time she’s spoken the words herself outloud. Theo arrives after Bolton drops the call, and she explains to him what happened—leaving out the part where she said to Bolton that she loves Theo. Theo wants to know what made him drop the call, and he gets extremely angry when she refuses to tell him, instead telling him to Trust her, even though he’s putting his life on the line. Astrid relents, and tells him that she told Bolton that if he kills Theo, he will have to also kill her because she loves him. Theo just drops in the seat and stares at her after apologizing to her for his outburst, but he does not return the words.

Astrid is invited to Scarlett’s and Axel’s for pizza night, and Theo is there. While the ladies are in the kitchen, Astrid tells Scarlett what happened with Bolton and the fact that she had told Theo she loves him, but that he didn’t answer. Scarlett is surprised, but tells her to give him time as it sometimes will take time.

Theo decides to go after Carson’s home in case Bolton is there, so he asks Axel to help, and Axel and Theo sneak Astrid out of Theo’s home—he does not want his butler to know that Astrid is out of the house. He then takes his men and goes after Bolton. Both Bolton and Carson throw gas grenades, and Theo has to let Carson die in the poisonous gas so he can get a gas mask. He fights with Bolton, and gets shot in the shoulder, while Bolton escapes a second time. In the meantime, Astrid waits up for Theo, and she finds Axel alone in a room with a gun. He tells her that he has access to Theo’s security system and it was clear that someone let Bolton’s men into the house from the inside—clearly the butler. Theo returns to his home after her gets cleaned up by his doctor, and sees how Bolton’s men searched the house—his butler is gone with the money in his trunk. Astrid messages him, and then they secretly get her back to Theo’s house through the underground tunnels. He feels like shit because he failed her, though Astrid tells him that all that is important to her is that he’s alive.

Theo meets with his men and makes plans to go after Bolton again, when Bolton calls him and tells him that he has Scarlett at gunpoint, and even her daughter at gunpoint. He gives Theo instructions in order to save Scarlett. Theo gets into a car with his hands bound and his head in a burlap sack, and is taken outside of Florence to another house. When he sees it, he wonders if Astrid had ever been in this house. He gets brought into the house, and sees Scarlett with a black eye, so he puts himself in front of her, and tells Bolton to let her go now that he’s got him. Bolton does have her taken by his men and dropped off somewhere near Axel and their children. Bolton tells Theo that Astrid told him that she loved THeo when they last spoke, so he decides he wants to see if that is true.

Astrid wakes up and sees that she can’t find Theo anywhere. Suddenly there’s a phone call from Bolton, and he tells her that he has Theo and that she has to come to him if she doesn’t want him to kill Theo. Astrid agrees and follows the instructions, taking a car with one of Bolton’s men all the way to their home in the country side. During this time, she decides that she has to do something about Theo because Bolton will kill him regardless in front of her. When she arrives, Bolton starts going into a tirade about Theo and her, but Astrid cuts him off, telling him that she wants to try to save their marriage—that she will go back to Bolton, if only he spares Theo and she will try hard to fix their marriage and be in a relationship. She tells him that if he does kill Theo, she will just be dead and he will have nothing but someone who doesn’t care or won’t try, reminding him how that worked out last time. She kisses him pretending that he is Theo. Bolton lets Theo go, and Theo goes to Axel’s home to check on them—Axel is in shock and horror as he had seen his daughter being held at gunpoint, which he refused to tell to Scarlett. Theo goes to check in on Scarlett and she tells him that it’s over. Neither of them blame Theo though he feels guilty that by asking Axel to help him keep Astrid safe, he brought the horrors into Axel’s home, nearly killing Scarlett and leaving Axel a widower with two children. He cannot forgive himself, and lets it go.

A few weeks later, Axel comes by to visit Theo and they talk—Theo tells him exactly what happened to Astrid, and Axel asks why he’s not going after her; that she had to have done it to save him. Theo leaves out the part where Astrid kissed Bolton, but tells Axel that he can’t put them in danger and have that much heat on them. Axel tells him that what happened has fueled his need for revenge and he cannot sit still while Theo’s woman is in danger and in the hands of a psychopath. He tells Theo that he knows Scarlett will agree and want to do what she can to get Astrid back.

Astrid sits with Bolton at dinner in their home in Madrid. She pretends that Bolton is Theo and that has been allowing their relationship to function, though she does refuse any form of intimacy with Bolton, though she knows that he will want that soon. That night, she goes down, gets a bottle of wine and drinks it in front of the bonfire. Bolton comes down and comments about her being in love with Theo, then tells her that she’s not trying and to try harder, even when Astrid tells him that she needs time. She can tell that he’s about to get harsher with her just by the tone that he uses, and he does mention to Astrid that Theo has been seen with another woman. Suddenly, there are booms in the night, and gunfire starts. Bolton drags Astrid to a room, and starts unlocking a safety room with thumb prints and codes to put her in it—something she realizes that if he dies, will be hard to get her out of. While he’s putting a code in, she grabs the pistol that he has on him, and in the following scuffle, she pulls the trigger. Bolton goes limp, then she slides him off, moves away, and throws up before passing out.

Theo and Axel get through the guards, and then make their way through the house, with Theo calling out to Astrid. They find a mass of bodies in one of the room, and then tentatively go to check on them—Astrid is still alive but looks unconscious, while Bolton is definitely dead with his face missing. Theo figures that Astrid must have shot him and then passed out of fear for what she has done. He picks her up, and then takes her back to the airport, while his men’s bodies are also taken with them, and they separate Bolton’s body in a different part of the plane. At some point when they touch down back in Italy, Astrid wakes up and realizes where she is. Axel leaves them to give them space, and she gets into Theo’s lap at which point she starts explaining what happened. Theo tells her that he loves her. She talks about moving and getting things out of Bolton’s name, but then he pulls her back to ask her if she heard him say that he loves her, and she does not have to move out.

Theo takes Astrid to the cemetery where her parents are buried and shows her the headstone for Bolton, telling her that he had him buried here in case she ever wanted to visit his body. In return, Astrid asks Axel for help, and the two of them go to the Brotherhood. She goes into the depths of the building on her own, where she goes to the icebox and gets Killian’s body after speaking to a medic and answering a couple of questions. He gives her the body, and she carries it back up to Axel, who checks it and tells her that it’s definitely Killian. They take the body back to Theo’s home, and he comes down wondering what is going on. Astrid explains, and asks him not to get angry as she gives him the remains. It’s his brother and Theo takes Killian’s watch from the bag. They bury Killian in his plot in the same Cemetery that Theo’s parents, Astrid’s Parents, and Bolton are buried. Theo reveals that his late wife, Shayla, is also buried there, and when Astrid offers to go with him to the headstone, he tells her he’s fine—for once realizing that Shayla was important to him, and he loved her, but it’s now no longer as painful because he’s with Astrid.

Theo gives over the keys to being the Skull King to Octavius, his second in command, having decided that he’s done—after a comment that Axel had made about there always being five targets on the Skull King’s back, so that means that there will always be a target on Astrid’s back. Theo realizes that he finally has peace, and that’s how he wants it. He first tells Axel that he’s left, which surprises him, and then he tells Astrid that he’s left. He doesn’t know what he will do next, as he doesn’t want to retire but he wants to take some time to be with her.

A year later, Theo takes Astrid to Scarlett’s restaurant, where they have dinner, and Scarlett pours them the wine. Astrid hasn’t gotten proposed to yet, but she realizes that she’s not in a hurry. In the year, Theo had gone into finance working with investments and such, while they also purchased a gallery for her to run, where she sells her own artwork as well. Dessert comes around, and a Chocolate cake is brought out for Theo, while a diamond ring is brought out on a plate for Astrid. She looks at it and since Theo says nothing, she asks him if this is for her. He tells her that he’s not going to ask her to marry him, he’s telling her.

On the day of their wedding, Theo talks to Axel—he’s still nervous because his mind hasn’t changed about kids, though he knows that Astrid wants them. Axel tells him to talk to Astrid about it, so Theo goes to see her in her room, and tells her that he still hasn’t changed his mind about kids, because when he was a kid, he found out that he was unwanted by his parents—it was a night of drunkenness that brought him and Killian to life, and he just doesn’t know if he’d make a good father nor will he want to pass this kind of feeling onto his own kid. Astrid tells him that he is her family and she does want to get married to him regardless of whether or not they have kids.

Theo is working in his office when he hears Astrid calling Killian—their two year old son, who has become exceptionally fast, and who runs into his office butt naked, escaping from Astrid when she tried to put on a diaper. Theo picks him up after talking to him, and Astrid apologizes, saying that she will take him away. Theo tells her it’s fine, and kisses her, which elicits an “ew” response from two year old Killian, and prompts Theo to tell him that he loves kissing mommy as much as he loves mommy.

My Thoughts: I really enjoyed this ending to the series and to Theo’s and Astrid’s love story. The fact that he did everything he could to protect her from Bolton, putting himself in harms way twice not just for Astrid but also for Scarlett and Axel, shows the depth of his feelings for all of them. Axel still melts my heart with how he told Theo to fight for Astrid when Astrid gave herself up to save him, and then he had his back when they showed up to fight Bolton. But there’s nothing better than seeing a female heroine finally stand up for herself—when she lunges for the gun, knowing that it’s either her or Bolton, and even not being certain (which is believable if you do not have much experience with guns) where the gun is but she ends up shooting him. Like she’s the one that did it all to finally get her freedom, and this makes me think about how many times, it may sometimes just coming down to the person’s own realizations that they do have options, they do have a choice, and can make things happen if they truly have a reason to believe in something. Hope, I guess is the theme of this story.