Book Review: It Pains me

Title: It Pains Me
Author: Penelope Sky
Genre: Romance, Fiction, Crime

What It’s About: Astrid moves into her own apartment, and wallows in her heartbreak. Bolton tries to get her to come back to him, when she stops by to pick up some of her stuff, but she stays steadfast in staying in her own place. Bolton tells her that Theo used her to get back at him, because they are mortal enemies in the underground world; that he knew about her and Bolton. Then, one night during a storm, she hears someone breaking in. Astrid first calls Theo, who does not pick up the call, and then a couple of minutes later, she calls Bolton, who shows up within three minutes and gets rid of the men. He takes her home with him, shaken up, and tells her to wait there, while he takes care of the rest of the men, and cleans up. Astrid moves back in, and Bolton tells her to never speak with Theo again.

Theo had missed the call from Astrid at first thinking that she wants to rehash the conversation, but then he realized that she is never up at two am, so he calls her back twice, at which point she does not respond, so he texts her. Astrid had seen these messages but chose to ignore the calls and the text message, before blocking Theo. So Theo visits her the next day at her gallery, where he sees her wearing her ring. He tries to get her to leave Bolton and be with him, but Astrid tells him that she does not want that, and that she’s staying with Bolton; that what is done, is done. And that he never picked up her call when she needed him but Bolton had—though at first she had said that it was an accident. Theo is bothered about the phone call and he doesn’t know what happened, but it seems to be the decision that she is hinging staying with Bolton for. He had tried to visit Bolton at the Brotherhood for the information on who killed his brother, though Bolton had told him at the time that Astrid has not moved back in so he is not ready to provide him the information and that he’s.a busy man. He speaks with Scarlett who gives him the perspective that if the Call had been something serious and she called him first, maybe she doesn’t want to admit the depth of her feelings for him, but then Bolton was her second choice and he was the one that showed up.

Bolton and Astrid continue working on the relationship because that is what Bolton wants, though Astrid can tell that she’s not satisfied. Then Theo gets a call from Bolton telling him that they will have dinner at a fancy restaurant—one where they normally wouldn’t do business. Theo arrives first and gets a table for the two of them, but then Bolton arrives with no one but Astrid. This puts Astrid in an uncomfortable situation, and Theo tries to get her to leave but she won’t. They order food, while Bolton puts his arm around Astrid possessively and tells Theo that the name is Beau Draven—the man that Theo was already looking for. They exchange some barbs, but also reveal to Astrid that Theo made a deal with Bolton. Theo checks in with Astrid later that night to make sure that she’s all right.

Not too long after that, Theo sneaks into the Gallery where Astrid works to check in on her, because they both know that Bolton has eyes on her job and they talk. Once again she does not want to leave Bolton for Theo because of everything that Bolton provides her. Theo reveals that he had been married before, and that his wife is no longer alive, but he doesn’t elaborate on it—it’s not a secret that many people know besides Axel. Astrid is surprise, and in return, she explains what had happened the night she called him, and he tells her that Bolton orchestrated it—she doesn’t remember if there were gunshots or dead bodies. He tells her that if she calls him at any time, he will always pick up.

Theo is really depressed by Astrid’s rejection, so he spirals out and says harsh things to Axel—that if he hadn’t stuck out to help Axel save his relationship with Scarlett and gotten involved Dante, Beau Draven wouldn’t have come into his life and killed his brother. He tells Axel to go to hell and never come near him for as long as Dante is in his life. Scarlett comes over and refuses to leave until he tells her why he’s so pissy and rejecting of Axel. He tells her what he found out from Astrid, and she tells him that then it makes sense that Astrid would feel that way. He decides not to pursue Astrid.

Bolton starts to go back to work, and eventually he goes on a trip for one of his hits. He forgets his tablet, and after texting him back, Astrid notices it on the counter. She sees that it keeps going off, like there are too many text messages. She looks at it and sees the name Carson, and at first thinks it is a man, but then realizes that the messages don’t make sense—it turns out that Bolton has had a girlfriend on the side name Natalie for the last several years, even before they started dating and got married. When he returns home, he finds her sitting at home at the table and she tells him that they are done and that she’s leaving because she saw the message. He takes the guns in the house apart piece by piece and tells her that she will not do such thing—then telling her to go make dinner. That night, she looks at her phone and realizes that Theo’s number has been deleted and blocked, so she has no way to contact him in anyway—Bolton had done it. She considers grabbing her keys and leaving, and is in the process of doing so when she runs into Bolton, who in turn throws her into the refrigerator, hurting her. He tells her the next day that she’s only allowed to go to her job, to the grocery and home—if she does go anywhere else, she will face more severe repercussions, and he tells her that he does not want to do that.

Astrid goes to the office and realizes that she is indeed being watched—she is certain that there are men that look like they could be part of Bolton’s group. So she doesn’t know what to do and how to escape, but then realizes that Theo had taken her to his restaurant one time and it’s not that far to the gallery—she makes a plan, and then decides to bide her time until lunchtime. She makes her way over to the restaurant, and asks the manager to please call Theo—her name is Astrid and that Theo will want to see her. The Manager agrees after a bit more convincing. Theo comes in at some point through the back door, and Astrid tries talking to him, saying that he was right, and that she wants to be with him, but Theo is angry and tells her that he doesn’t want to be someone’s second choice, and basically rips her to shreds, making her feel hopeless. Astrid cries in the bathroom at the restaurant, and Theo is gone by the time she comes out, and goes back to her own Gallery.

Bolton takes her with him to the Brotherhood—ever since he had given her the ultimatum that she has to stay, he has been treating her more and more like a trophy, taking her to meetings with him. She has to go to the restroom at some point throughout the night, and then notices one of the men in the hallway—whom she recognizes as the man breaking into her apartment some time ago. She grabs a couple of pistols coming out of the restroom, shoots one of the men, and in the ensuing chaos she walks out…only to find Bolton in an alley as if he knew where she was going. He reveals to her that her earrings have trackers, not her phone, and takes her when she tries to shoot him—she manages to shoot him in the arm. He has his men take her back to the house, and then tells her the next day when she wakes up that she is no longer allowed to work. By this point, Astrid has begun to disassociate, between the beatings and the sex that she does not want, but she continues to disassociate even further.

Theo is angry leaving the restaurant—in the time that Astrid had rejected him twice, he has been on a mission to find Beau Draven and kill him. At one point he had even gotten extremely drunk and had to call Axel to take him home, where he proceeded to sleep 1.5 days on the couch. He started going back to his favorite escort, who refuses to take his payments. After another night where she refuses his payments, and refuses to leave, he asks her what else does she want to which Andrea, the escort, tells him that she is willing to leave the life as an escort at a chance to have a relationship with him since she has seen that he’s been in a relationship. He tells her to get out and that he has no interest in a relationship with her because he doesn’t feel anything for her, and then he decides he needs to change escorts.

Bolton takes Astrid to Scarlett’s restaurant to meet with a client. Astrid is hesitant, but doesn’t know if Scarlett is in or not so she does go to the restaurant without saying anything. They are eating and talking, when Scarlett comes over to the table near them, and Astrid realizes she needs to get out before Scarlett sees her. Unfortunately, she says something to Bolton—who is questioning her request to use the restroom—loud enough that patrons and Scarlett look over at them. Scarlett takes a beat before she recognizes her, and Astrid heads to the restroom, where she just stares at the mirror. Scarlett comes by and they talk, with Astrid feeling safe for the first time, and Scarlett tells her that she will need to tell Theo. Bolton comes in and tries to get to Astrid, but in the process he almost grabs Scarlett to get her to move. Scarlett threatens him, so he leaves her alone, and then grabs Astrid before they head back to the table, and eventually they go home.

Scarlett goes over to Theo’s house—Theo is in the gym working out when his butler comes by and asks him that Scarlett has stated it’s urgent even though Theo had clearly asked to be left alone when he’s working out. He goes down to Scarlett, and she tells Theo exactly what she saw with Astrid—that it looks like she’s been placed through the blender. He realizes that Astrid had come to him to the restaurant weeks ago to ask him for help because she most likely had no way of contacting him, and he had made it all about himself. He decides he’s going to get Astrid that night, and Axel comes and joins him to get her, even though Theo tells him to stay back.

Astrid and Bolton head home and he tells her to start packing; that they are leaving. He gets men on the property and Astrid tries to figure out how to stall him. At some point, he slaps her, but before they know it, one of his men tells him that three range rovers are on their way with about 15 men. He has a bullet proof vest put on Astrid and gets her behind the couch—a battle ensues, and both Theo and Bolton are fighting in front of Astrid. At one point, Theo goes flying past her with a knife in his body, which makes her scared. She sees Bolton pull his gun on Theo, so she smacks it away and tells him that she would rather die that be with him. Axel gets her out along with Theo and they go back to Theo’s home.

Theo tells her that he’s not ready for her to tell him all that went on, but that she’s free to come and go as she wants—even going back to her job at her gallery that she loves so much, and in which the Gallery owner had stated that she is indispensable. Astrid is happy to be back and realizes that Bolton tried to control her under the guise of protection. Theo on the other hand gives her freedom while also protecting her—making sure that there are snipers around the gallery that would shoot Bolton on sight. Eventually, they have a heart to heart and she tells him the gist of what had happened at Bolton’s hands, and Theo promises her that he will kill him. He real eats to her that his first wife had so much life in her and vibrancy, but it was because she was given weeks to live due to cancer—so he gave her everything that he could, but he’s not sure that he would be able to give the relationship a long-term chance, so it may have an end date because he is the Skull King so he might be killed at some point, and that would put a lot of heat on her. But it’s not an impossible chance—just a minuscule chance. So Astrid tells him that she wants that chance.

My Thoughts: Theo and Astrid’s story feels a bit more stunted than Axel’s and Scarlett’s, but it’s because they truly do not speak to each other a lot—and Astrid keeps pushing him away. But that doesn’t make it any less deep for them, as they clearly do care deeply about each other in their actions. And I love that Astrid tries to protect Scarlett at the restaurant, but that Scarlett recognized her and went straight to Theo, who figured that it’s time to do something about it. My only thought was that if he’d only pulled his head out of his ass sooner than Scarlett coming to him and telling him something’s off, he would have had the patience to hear Astrid out when she sought him out. What’s scary (and sometimes realistic from real life situations) is how quickly Bolton becomes an abuser—going from someone that is just controlling, to someone who hits his wife to the point that she has bruises and cuts everywhere, all under the guise of wanting her, which in turn makes her love him less. I really can’t wait to read the next book in the series and watch Bolton get what is coming to him (I hope!).